I get out. I’m not a big fan of naivete. I may be an idealist to a fault, but I’m also realistic… most of the time. Once in a while however, I hear something, read something, see something and I think even if just for a moment ignorance maybe, on this one thing, might just really be bliss. It might actually be better, once in a while, to live in a way that would allow me to pretend that bullshit like this doesn’t exist.
Bullshit like what, you ask; women acting like doormats. Like amoebas. Like spineless little creatures with no will, opinion, ideas, freedom, basic human rights.
Recently, in a conversation about the time of day people rise, I saw a women confide that she rises early — 5:30 in the morning, as a matter of fact — but that she has a set routine and never logs onto the computer until after her husband leaves for work. You know, because he would be upset if she were on the internet that early in the day.
WHAT?!
So to clarify here. She wants to log onto her computer, but doesn’t. Because beginning her day with emails and catching up with online social networks would upset her husband.
And here is where I ask, who gives a tiny rat’s ass?
My husband’s not terribly fond of the way I start my day either. He would much rather I not set my alarm for thirty minutes earlier than I actually have to get up, hit the snooze five times and start any given morning approximately twenty minutes behind schedule but, and here’s the important part, he married me anyway! He married a creative, OCD, ADHD, night-person type. Now he has to live with it. Including the wonky alarm ritual.
I think his incessant talking first thing in the morning, the way he hops out of bed on the first sound of the alarm and promptly gets ready to go is obnoxious but guess what. He doesn’t care what I think. It’s his morning. If he wants to kick his day off with a bath in pig’s blood it’s none of my damn business as long as he washes out the tub when he’s done!
Yes, sometimes I think it’d be better to just not know that things like this are still taking place; to believe women are not catering to the illogical whims of the men they live with in the year 2010. But then I remember, in a lot of those houses there are children. Children who watch and learn. Boys who may just grow up expecting women to cater to them in the same way. Girls who grow up and carry on the tradition of doing so. Children who will be adults, in the dating pool, when my own get there. And it just pisses me off more.
Please, ladies, feel free to be a doormat. Just don’t tell me about it. And for the sake of all that is good and right in the world, not in front of the children.
Hog Farmer. Goose Wrangler. Sustenance Cultivator. Hobby Photographer. Women's Progress Advocator. Wife. Teacher. Mother. Freelance Writer. Unsophisticated Wine Connoisseur. Sister. Speaker. Friend. Butcher. Ruminator. Student. Reluctant Artist. Wannabe Quilter. Chocolate Addict. Gun Enthusiast. 
{ 2 comments }
I see what you’re saying here, but wonder if maybe you’re painting with too broad a brush here. We don’t have all the information as to why this wife is respecting her husband’s wishes. There are some things in my marriage that my husband and I give a free pass on. Things that may seem irrational, unimportant, even dumb to the other, but because we’ve asked each other nicely and respectfully to “just do this for me”, we do it, if its in our power to do. Maybe her husband’s insistence that mornings be technology-free be something she’s doing for him out of love, not because she’s quaking in her shoes about what he may say or do to her. Being loving and giving is not being a doormat and it something that is CRUCIAL that we allow our children to see us doing. Compromise is a very healthy part of marriage, and as long as the compromise is something both parties can live with, then the rest of us should just mind our own business. I submit my opinion respectfully to illicit further thought and discussion, thanks.
I have to say I had the same reaction as Angela. Maybe he puts up with her excess shopping and slovenly personal hygiene, but his one annoyance is internet usage. No one really knows what goes on in a marriage but the two people in it. Perhaps she’s not a doormat. Perhaps she recognizes a pet peeve, realizes he’s tolerant of her pet peeves, and she’s just being kind.
Comments on this entry are closed.