On Mindset, Friendship and Guilt

I have a friend, who for the purpose of this post we’ll call Elle, and we have a mutual acquaintance, who for the purpose of this post we’ll call Sam. Elle and Sam are in the same industry. Sam however, is — at least outwardly — more successful. Exponentially so, in fact. And Elle is convinced Sam is running off a financial reserve, not actual success in her career; the words “trust fund” have been thrown about. But I’m not so sure.

The industry they’re in is, without a doubt, difficult. Almost as, if not equally as, difficult as the industry I’m in — both of them — and I’ll be the first to admit I’m far from figuring it all out. But that’s not to say that some people, the ones we should be paying attention to, aren’t having authentic successes. If I had to wager, I’d say Sam is one of them and the biggest difference I’ve observed between the two, is mindset.

Sam makes no bones about the fact that she knows her work. She isn’t pushy, she doesn’t come across as a know-it-all, but she does speak up. Elle, on the other hand, while probably harboring a greater wealth of information and raw talent than Sam, sits quietly. In fact, I knew Elle for the better part of a year as a consumer in the industry in which she works before I found out she was even an option for fulfilling my needs. And I only found out when I did because someone else told me!

Recently I read Secrets of Six-Figure Women by Barbara Stanny (a book that I purchased with my own hard-earned money, this post is not sponsored in any way) and all boiled down to one undertone the book dealt with just this; mindset. And it reminded me so much of the contrasts I have observed between Elle and Sam and the internal conflicts I have experienced dealing with people like Elle, as she’s most certainly not the first of those I’ve befriended who share that way of thinking.

I was born with Sam’s mindset. The one that, deep inside, says my ideas are important, both my time and I are valuable and I’m going somewhere. But this in no way shape or form exempts me from struggling with my mindset day in and day out in an effort to actually follow through with what it says. And friends like Elle, love them as I might, make that struggle infinitely more difficult. As positive and optimistic as I can be, I’ve yet to become immune to the contagious nature of those around me who don’t feel the same way, who are not, themselves, working towards a fast track — or even any track on which the momentum is forward, not standing still. And if I’m brutally honest I often feel guilty for feeling as I do in their presence.

Today, an associate of mine, Carla Young of MOMeo Magazine, wrote about ditching the people who sap your energy, but I’m not entirely sure Elle, or the people like her, fall directly into that category. What I want to know is how you deal with the people who fall in between, those who are giving and kind, who are not always negative, but who by fundamental difference of mindset don’t quite further your existence either. Do you continue your friendship? Keep it in small doses? Only talk about certain topics?

Tagged as: Books, Earning, Friendship, Guilt, Money, Reflection, Secrets of Six Figure Women, Self Improvement, Value, work